"My results have come."
"Wow! Sounds good…congratulations. You've proved yourself once again", idolized my honcho.
These cherishing words of my boss harboured so many wrinkles in my face. It's at this juncture I thought of reality. "Hey what happened? After all it’s an occasion to be celebrated."
"It's a thing to be celebrated but not in your point of view sir", replied I to avoid many other misunderstandings.
"WHAT?" queried my boss' eyebrows - one raising up and the other shrinking down. I learnt the imbibed question and answered "No sir, you're wrong. I flunked. I did not clear the examination."
"How then it's a celebration?" is what you think? I'll make it clear. I can go meet Durga once again in the examination hall", said I with a jubilance.
The boss starred at me for some time. Probably, I thought, "are you not ashamed to flaunt like this? You're a teacher and are you not feeling irksome about such a failure?" were the question brimming out of his mouth and mind. He is a gentleman, for he did not ask any of these questions directly and for my part I'm not a slut to imagine that I've escaped from facing all these cannons.
He ruminated about the case for some time and said "Beware! DON'T get lost."
"Thank you sir", said I with utmost sincerity and headed to the table and chair allotted for me, which would always remind me of a doorkeeper. But all these egoistic problems didn't occupy my mind for the thought of Durga is already overflowing without leaving a vacuum.
In my seat I felt myself as a stone that is plunked inside a silent pond of water. I scuttled over the thought of Durga. I started pondering over the happenings before a month:
I was caught by the clutches of examination fever after a long time. I had been writing exams for many a times but this one thrilled and threatened me. I had to touch my pen to write essays and pages after a long time and I got to stay inside a class in the same place for about three hours, were the reasons that multiplied the exam fever in me. Anyhow I prepared well, though not with the Buddhists concentration, I did prepare.
The examination day knocked my doors and I went to the exam hall. Till then I never thought of such a pileup. Before entering the exam hall I teased all my friends by foretelling that what they studiously studied would not be asked in the examination and they berated me (this is my sadistic way of having fun). With my hall tickets and fresh mental stature I entered the exam hall and it's there my eyes were snared by the cleft in the chin of that girl.
"I've never seen her in my class but how come now? Probably she would have flunked in her first attempt. Beautiful girls are not always intelligent", thought I with a proud smile in my face.
The time commenced and to my surprise the girl distributed the answer sheets through out the hall.
"A ha! She is not a student but an invigilator. Wow!" blurted out my mind.
Half - an - hour and one hour flew with my head and mind sticking to the answer sheet. I was striving hard against time to complete my answer sheet.
"Don't turn your head and open your mouth. If it can't be done please get out." shunned the exam invigilator.
I laughed when I saw a man in his late thirties or even early 40's as the barer of these harsh words and the silly act of copying the neighbour's paper. "Useless fellow", said I and swinged my head towards the examiner. "GOSH!" she was looking much beautiful with her fierce eyes. "A young lady scolding and terrorising a man, elder to her. Wow! She is a moralistic and good woman. She is an epitome of womanhood…" my accolade for her lengthened. That day's exam came to an end. I gave the paper by completing four questions out of five. In the four two were in the dilute form.
I kept watching her throughout the stay inside the exam hall and even when I turned back home. She refused to go away. I was waiting for the dawn, not just because it was a Sunday but I was going to see her once again the next day too.
Saturday I took one of my friends with me to the exam with a promise that I would provide him all the answers but fate laid its hands on him and me so I didn't turn towards his side. This made him angry and thus I alone went to the exam centre, MC Higher Secondary School, Madurai.
I went straight to the exam hall and there I thanked God for accepting my prayer: "God please make her come to my class room." I sat there even before exam commenced and never moved my eyes away from her. She starred at me and never looked at me. "She didn't like me. But I love her", insisted my heart. I rarely concentrated in my answer paper.
Three hours fled away and I was the last one to come out of the class. I was determined to talk with her and if possible even propose to her. I gave her the paper and asked, "your face sounds familiar to me. Have you seen me earlier?"
"I've never seen you and I don't feel so.," said she. I felt it to be as of some one smacking on my face.
But I love her. So I asked her "may I know your name?"
"Why?" she asked with a monosyllable.
"Because I love you", is what I thought of saying but I didn't have enough guts. No other go "please tell me. I like to know that. Please! Please! Please!" I begged.
"Durga." she answered and started walking out of the hall.
I felt happy and excited and it took me a few minutes to come out of the hall. When I came out I found no more of her. I searched throughout the campus but in vain. After few thoughts and with the hope that I will see her the next weekend I left the school.
ONE WEEK LATER.
A week's time did not bring in much change in me. I shared this with almost all my friends and they started teasing me, some kindled me, a few passed negative remarks about my character, but everybody wished me all the best the Friday night.
I went into the exam hall and scolded God for not making Durga come to my exam hall. I felt bad and the exam papers too. I completed the exams early and went in search of Durga. I fixed her and was waiting out of her class. She again was looking terribly good.
She always had the charm in her face, always came in beautiful saree, her round face and the cleft in her chin were the things attracted me for I know nothing about her other than her boldness, ethical and moral nature.
The exam came to an end. Durga as usual came out of the examination hall a few minutes late. She took a long time in verifying the answer sheets that would help her avoid certain inconveniences. She came out just to shun at me I think. I stood at her way and she starred at me. She detoured and headed towards the superindent.
"I want to talk with you. Just two minutes.", said I running at the back of her.
She stopped.
"Only two minutes."
"What do you want to talk?"
"Gee… nothing."
"I'm busy. I've got some work.", saying so she rushed off with a faster pace. I stood in the play ground for some time. I did not know why I stood so I left the place.
Even after a month all these happenings stood afresh in my mind. Now my Boss' words made me feel guilty. I was ruminating with a vague eye, in an obscure manner. Days passed by and I applied once again for my exam. After all I have to get through the exams. This time I didn't ask money from my dad, instead I paid from my purse.
"I'll be a success in my exams and also in getting Durga.", I kept repeating these words to my friends.
The day of examination arrived. "Today I should get as many additional sheets as possible even if Durga came as an examiner", promised I (to myself), before entering the exam hall.
I've been strenuous in my preparation. The exam started…NO Durga! It did not do anything in me. I started writing the answers one after another. I took the whole of three hours to complete my paper. I came out of the exam hall with a smile of satisfaction and it is now I saw Durga after a long time. My heart plunged into the cleft of her chin. It started oscillating as if trying to come out of her chin but never did it come out.
There was some chemical change in me that instigated me to go towards Durga.
DURGA! DURGA! DURGA…!
I went towards her but she ran down the stairs and hid herself inside a room. I stood waiting for her for a long time but she did not turn up. I felt sad and so returned home.
The next day, again, I had an exam and I came to the school a bit early "in order to study", I said my mother. The very first face I met - with was that of Durga's. She stood near the vehicle parking lot.
She had a dark blue saree. It was a perfect match to her. The way she winds her saree around her is again a thing that attracted me. She must be an expert in wearing a saree. She did it artistically.
I went near her. Just to share a few thoughts of my heart.
"What do you want? Why do come near when I'm alone?", poor girl put forth all these queries because of the threat. I felt the fright in her heart. I felt it. She also raised her voice when she asked the second question.
"Please. Be quiet. There is no need to attract other ears."
"What do you want?", asked my angel.
"I'M SORRY. I just wanted to ask you whether you would marry me or not? But the way you ran on seeing me has introduced me to myself as a third rate villain. Till today I've threatened no girl. I'm sorry for doing so. Here after don't run on seeing me. I don't like it…I can no more bare it.", saying so I vacated the place and stood just opposite to her and rummaged through my books and notes. I wrote the exam…never waited for her after my completion.
Experience of
madhav
